Now, this guitar is a bit bag of failed expectations, for me. I thought, at first, that a guitar physically constructed out of pieces of Canadian history would be pretty awesome! I mean, it’s no big secret that guitar players here are a dime a dozen. Hell, out of my own family my brother is the only one who doesn’t know how to play. And even then, he still know how a guitar works and can form a few rudimentary chords.

I was taught by my parents who both play and would rock out with their friends throughout the 70s and 80s at parties and family events, to the extent that my Aunt on my mother’s side and my Dad have both played in bands and performed in clubs and bars throughout western Canada. My girlfriends’ parents frequent blues events and most of my friends are either in bands or partake in their respective sub-genre’s weekly event, be it a club-night or a series of small concerts. So, I would guess that it’s safe to say that music between people is a large part of the culture in this country. So I have to be completely honest and say that it completely pains me to say that the Six String Nation guitar looks like it was a prop in a Bob & Doug MacKenzie gag. 

It’s built out of stereotypes! It sounds like I’m exaggerating it, but I am dead fucking serious. Here is an excerpt from the description of the thing:

“The Six String Nation guitar, Voyageur, is made from sixtyseven pieces of Canadian history: Pierre Trudeau’s canoe paddle is a tone bar, the Grey Nuns convent in Winnipeg—once a classroom to Louis Riel—makes up the back and sides, Paul Henderson’s hockey stick from the 1972 CanadaRussia Summit Series is a detail on the pickguard, the sacred Golden Spruce of Haida Gwaii forms the top face and gold from Maurice Richard’s 1955–56 Stanley Cup ring adorns the ninth fret”

The idea, in essence, is good: I like it! but in execution, this thing somehow feels like it became a jab at this culture we have that seems like it was on the cutting room floor from a South Park episode, where the man who built the thing saw it and became inspired while failing to realize that it was a gag. 

I mean, for starters this thing should not have been an acoustic and should have been a big hollow-body electric, ala-1960’s Gibsons. Also, if you wanted to have a piece of Pierre Trudeau in there? don’t use a fucking canoe paddle and shape the body or the pickguard of the thing out of bits of his old sports car. I could go off for hours about this thing, but the point I really want to make is that whomever designed this guitar is so out-of-touch with what this country is actually like now and so focused on what it used to be that his end result honestly, seriously, comes off like some kind of parody. I’m amazed that it doesn’t have a disclaimer that says that you can buy your own commemorative coffee book that comes with a complimentary jug of maple syrup and custom Six String Nation toque. 

I don’t know. If you ask me, I wouldn’t trust anyone who agrees with Can-Con and figures a canoe paddle is a significant and un-embarrasing canadian image to be an advisor to a project like this, let alone spearheading the project.